The Bernard Matthews of The Sleepy Hollow and of Computers

I have decided to look into bird-farming: quail; pheasant; duck, the possibilitites are endless and I could easily end my days running around the fields which, I have to say, is a lot healthier than sitting in the shade staring at a computer screen for far too much of the time. Twenty years ago, I was thirty one years old and I had no idea how a computer worked and the internet was for me (as for most people then) a complete mystery. I don't actually recall feeling at the time that my life was missing something, but now take my computer away or send the internet down for a day and I will be running around like well - like a headless chicken - looking for an internet shop to check my e-mails when, in fact, breeding and beheading chickens would be far more useful and profitable.

The picture is a Chinese painted quail.