Olympics 2012

So the Olympics are in big overspend, to the tune of several billion pounds. All construction projects started by local and national Labour and Liberal politicians seem to result in massive overspends. Often the companies involved go bust and the projects are then sold off at a mere fraction of the cost to the public purse. Presumably, the money that goes missing is stolen.

This brings me to my tu'ppence-worth on the 2012 Olympics. First, the athletes should be all amateurs and arrive at their own expense; secondly, they should be made to compete in the nude (no sponsors allowed). The events are that they run around Silverstone a couple of times; throw javelins and do the long and high jump in the middle, and the winner of each event gets a crown of laurel and they all get a fig leaf for modesty at the end. Then they can all bugger off home at their own expense. Anyone interested in watching should be allowed to do so free of charge; no cameras allowed.

Tony Blair and Alistair Campbell on one side and Garden Broom and Ken Livingstone on the other should provide the grand finale - a tug o' war across the Thames, by Vauxhall Bridge, with a rope borrowed from the River Police. The losers get drowned by the currents and the winners are drowned by the crowd.