When in Doubt

I have a friend whose favourite aphorism is When in doubt, do nothing. At first, it sounds trite and hopelessly passive; even boring and unmanly but just think of all the fools you know who have rushed in "where angels fear to tread". I have to confess that I have often been such a fool myself and, just for the sake of a moment's reflection and clarification,I could have saved myself a whole pile of trouble, expense and worry.

Moreover, this aphorism does not apply just to actions, it applies to words too:

The moving finger writes and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,
Nor all they Tears wash out a Word of it.
(From Edward FitzGerald's translation of The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.)

Think of all the unintended harm that has been caused in this world by hasty words: from simple punch-ups to broken friendships; fatal duels and even wars.

Chamois Gloves

I have seen charts produced with combinations of clothing that the chart-makers suggest are correct for certain occasions and very seldom do they mention lemon chamois gloves as being correct (as they are), for formal morning wear. Indeed, the very availability of these gloves is now much more limited than it was twenty years ago and soon, I am sure, that it will be necessary to order them bespoke from businesses such as Pickett and Chester Jefferies. However, the upside is that bespoke gloves cost very little more than readymade ones.

Norwich Porridge and Lady Diana Cooper

I just found this wonderful picture of Duff and Diana Cooper in full fig, probably as British Ambassador and Ambassadress in Paris, just after the Second World War. It certainly reminds me of the great pleasure to be found in guiding a beautiful, graceful woman around the floor in a closed dance, such as a slow Walz or bossa nova. A character in the film Shall We Dance (mentioned earlier) announces at one point: "And football sucks". In truth, the only men who would vehemently disagree with this statement are those who have tried only football and fallen for the idiotic line (put about by the merely clumsy) that real men don't dance.

The title of this post entry derives from the fact that, when Duff Cooper was created Viscount Norwich, his wife elected (as she was entitled), to retain her courtesy title as the daughter of a Duke, on the basis that she could not possibly be Lady Norwich, as 'Norwich' rhymes with 'porridge'.

Trouser breaks

There is a little point of detail that is often overlooked, in relation to trouser breaks (the way they fall on the shoe). Formal morning and evening trousers should have a whisper of a break, a horizontal crease, at the front and should decline over the top of the back of the shoe. However, otherwise, trousers should fall just on the top of the shoe, without a break. I am not entirely sure of the origin of this differentiation but it might have something to do with Edward VII's introduction of turn-ups or cuffs on country trousers; rolling them up to save them from the mud. Therefore, maybe, informal trousers became that little bit shorter than formal ones, thanks to Edward The Peacemaker. The pictures demonstrate the difference.

Shall We Dance?

Banging away on my keyboard yesterday, Turner Classic Movies decided to treat me to the background sound and motion on my giant screen, on the Far Side, of Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere (with Susan Sarandon flitting in and out) responding to the question: Shall We Dance?; actually, the question in the film is Shall We Dance, Mr Clark?. In case you haven't seen it, it's about a tired, middle-aged executive who sees a dance school from his train and decides to spice up his routine existence with something completely different and enroles, without telling his wife (who sets a private dick on his trail). It reminds me somewhat of P G Wodehouse's short story The Man With The Two Left Feet Of course, at first, he is completely hopeless; a stumbling, fumbling joke. But they must have raised the spectre of one of the old film-makers of the Golden Age for this one and brought along some spirit and sense of human accomplishment because, if you are inclined to rave about Al Pacino doing the tango in Scent Of A Woman and start comparing that with Valentino and Terry in Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse, then see this film before you decide anything. I had never thought much of either J Lo or Gere before this but see the way that they glide around that floor! There is much in a piece of advice that J Lo, as dance instructress, gives Gere: "Don't move until you feel it". Much the same can be said for everything in life. She also comes out with George Bernard Shaw's old chestnut about dancing being the vertical expression of a horizontal desire but from this we may just deduce that neither GBS nor J Lo had been reading The Perfumed Garden, which, along with this film and the PGW story, are the recommendations of the day from the sunny South Atlantic seaboard.

A Reflection on Danger

Why do some women's voices sing the song of the Sirens and their eyes bear the flame of the wreckers' lamp? Did William Blake really mean the tyger when he wrote:

"What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?"

Indeed...

(Painting by John William Waterhouse).

The Eccentric Club

2010 is the 120th anniversary of the penultimate founding of the Eccentric Club (Patron HRH The Duke of Edinburgh). After a period in the doldrums, the Club has recently been revived by Imants von Wenden and a team of enthusiasts. It has a website at www.eccentricclub.co.uk. Originally dating from 1781 as the Eccentric Society, the club is again open for membership. Prospective members must usually be proposed and seconded by existing members. It currently meets at the premises of the Arts Club in Dover Street, although it looks forward to having its own premises soon. It has many reciprocal arrangements with other clubs around the world.